I can’t decide what panties to put on today, smarty or fancy. Maybe I should get the cop Harold Lindsay Fraser of the Medicine Hat Police who “wanted to hug me so bad but couldn’t cause they aren’t allowed” choose them for me. But I’m pretty sure he was going for “NONE!”

Today I was thinking what was my first responsibility, my first choice, the first decision I had to make in life. Thinking, thinking, got it! That would have been the moment I squeezed myself out of my mother, again, it was not MY choice. The absolute second I come outta that grotto, I have to make a decision. Do I start to breath and scream and wail to let them know I’m alive or do I do nothing and get smacked, get shit stuck up my nostrils, down my throat and depend on everything and anything to make me breath.

Well I made it through that one. Good choices or bad choices, we all make them. Some by choice, some by stupidity, some by power, and sometimes we are forced.

If you are stupid, you can correct that, unless you are a politician, a lawyer, or a cop. They run on stupid. It’s their fuel.

When people are not heard or being listened to they tend to scream louder, and louder, and louder. People who are bullied scream louder and louder and louder and when no one listens, bad things happen, people die. And yet we think we can ignore people and they will just go away, disappear. We blame the guns. Bullies should take responsibility for what they do to people and if speaking clearly and in a normal tone does not get the respect it deserves, people start to get louder and louder and louder.  And that is the guns fault how I ask?

I was not being listened to in the beginning of this journey. I got louder and louder and louder and I will continue to get louder and louder and louder unti I am heard or listened to. I deserve the right to be heard, to be able to tell my side of the story.

I do not care about dates and statutes, a complete report from medical professionals will cover that. I do not care about cops, their spouses, their children, their families. I FEAR THEM. If they can murder and kill with no conscience, take no responsibility for their crimes, makes them sociopaths by medical definition, a disease passed on by generations.

My family may have been dysfunctional, but no one in my family would have or could have hurt anyone without feeling some guilt for what they did. Even a brother who murdered someone and recently died in jail, felt guilt for what he did and took responsibility for what he did. He was a better man than the Medicine Hat Police who killed my husband. He had a conscience, he was guilty, and he admitted it. A murderer with better morals than cops. But most are.

MEDICINE HAT POLICE glee in the pain they cause others. No guilt, no remorse, no responsibility. Just a day at the office. WE KILL JUST CAUSE WE CAN, SO WE WILL. OUR BADGES SAY WE CAN. Badges with the blood of many dripping from them, WITH PRIDE.

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